There is cure for emotional pain. There is cure for the hurt that so many of us have endured after the traumas of getting betrayed by others that our hearts have cared for. But this cure starts within our own selves.
Many of us have been involved in that group of friends that just created chaos in our lives. Or perhaps we’ve become emotionally involved with connections that were not as they seemed. We trusted them with our feelings and then we’ve been shunned or stabbed by disappointments. Or even that lover we once had who turned out to be a pathological liar or didn’t quite meet our emotional standards. Perhaps a cheater, or an abuser, or just quite simply- not compatible.
But these are the situations in life that are meant to happen because they are meant to make us grow. To make us evolve into more spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally mature beings; or at least that’s how it should be.
However, sometimes with pain comes loss. We are supposed to gain from our setbacks and from our struggles but sometimes many drift away into a self loathing, people-hating, introverted culture of antitrust. And these people are never really happy with themselves or with others even if they portray it as so. They feel jaded and bitter and somehow become what they have went through and experienced- but not in a good way. They become defeated. They believe that this is how life has to be lived because they are so focused on the pain that they forget how to be happy. To be involved, to be present, to be here, to be aware, to actually care. To trust another we must learn to trust ourselves again. You know… That gut instinct that says “yes this is what I actually want out of life”. That deep rooted notion that says “I want to be happy” or “I want quality friendships, relationships, love”… and so on. But when we slip off the rail and start treating people how we do not like to be treated or even how we may have been treated, our ego takes control over our presence and it creates a dark cloud that refuses to let happiness enter. We ignore the people, places, and things that are out in this world trying to care about us. And, at this point, we are just letting life pass us by.
To escape such damage, there is some serious self reflection that needs to be done here. This is when we should start to ask ourselves such questions like, “was I a nice person?” and “did I offer as much as I’ve been given by this wonderful friend of mine?” and “did I try to be involved with those who are kind?” and even “am I emotionally available?”. By asking these questions we can find cognitive ways to take actions and make modifications to improve our spiritual well-being. There is no need to dwell in the past and live in grief, mistakenly assuming that everyone is going to hurt you or that people will rob you of your happiness. When you can find true console and security within yourself, you will then feel liberated enough to step back into this world with a good attitude and surround yourself with others who share the same genuine core beliefs. It’s not necessarily easy, but it is worth it.
Some practices that can take your spirit to a place of happiness include:
Healthy Friendships & Relationships
Enjoying the work that you do and the people that you surround yourself with
Getting to know new people
Going on adventures
Having authentic intimate conversations
Acts of kindness
Positive self talk
And sure- these may seem like the obvious but it’s crucial to be honest with ourselves as to how much effort we actually invest in such things prior to quickly writing off these cures as invalid- because -they are not only valid; they are crucial. Most often we will eventually acknowledge that the most crucial step before practicing these steps is AWARENESS. AWARENESS of yourSELF and AWARENESS of OTHERS. Being AWARE that CHANGE may need to happen (by your own will to do so) for the good times to roll again. And there you have it. Anybody can be happy after being hurt.