Uncertified Teacher

Thank you for all the lessons you taught me and if I overreacted because of what you presented and took it personally then I am sorry because you’ll always be darling to me. I’m sorry for all of those times of defensive aggression when you pull at my hair as you’re teaching your lesson but you’ll always be baby to me.  Thank you, my lesson, you let me go free from the roping and binding that dug into me – in my skin, leaving marks and keeping me down with my face on the ground – you taught me the best things in life are not free and because of your forceful slamming awakening, you made me the best I can be.  It was that brutal love.  That tough love that made me so hard but then you came through all soft. So what did I do?  Well… I found another brick to play with.  But this time… a stack of bricks.  They came in cases.  And then I stacked them.  Very Very VERY fucking high. Higher than the Trump towers and more valuable than the collapse of gold.  Your forceful rejection and demonstration of pity had vigorously bred gratitude through the molecules and energetic matter of my soul.  I am complete.  Namaste. Thanks, bitch – but you can go! X X Oh.

Scallywag

Her crotch was soothing, like Indonesian goat milk.

The smell of her upper lip resembled the pungent aroma of well-aged limburger; it tantalized my desperate nostrils.

Her bosom was disproportionately aggressive as the twins wrestled amongst each other in a sweaty feud of “which one shall conquer?”.

Her middle toe extended beyond its partners, presenting the impression of a hairy aggressive squirrel that naturally intended to offend you.

The crust upon her weenus diligently hunted and gathered all forms of dryness to attack its closest victim.

She looked into my eyes with her ghastly stare and I knew from that moment that she had me at “hello”.

I faltered.

Doctor (Drug Dealer)

Doctor doctor

Checking up on me

I can tell you really like my company

Doctor doctor

So you gave me some pills

You told me that they’d help me with my painful chills

So I took em just as you prescribed

Took em and I hooked em- they were numbing my vibe

Flowing through my stream of blood

Unprepared for the havoc of a future flood

Doctor doctor

I’m back to see you again

Follow up on me like you’re such a good friend

I know that you really care about my health

You’re certified and licensed with a PHD of wealth

“In God We Trust”- or so they say

If it’s money then it’s good so I guess I’ll stay

You sent me home with another script

Reading me your lines with such precise magic

Dark storm up ahead

I only knew what I heard and saw

I guess I should have read

Side effects came so you cut me off

Withdrawing from your potion

I was falling off

Feeling lost and feeling cold

Hurting with the chills as the story goes

Doctor doctor

You made your money

Black magic in your bank and you think it’s funny

You hurt my soul

You killed my vibe

You were numbing me with drugs so I could live to die

I could resort to heroine

But I’m not gonna let your filthy system win

Good cop bad cop

I’ve seen em all

Best believe you aint ever gonna see me fall

You taught me well and now I know

I made it through the storm of your domino

Never again will I come back to you

You’re a dirty doctor and I don’t trust you

 

Craft & Release

In the vacant shadows of quiet pain was the willing fortitude of a man who had been disheveled and detached by trauma.  His persistence and will of belief evolved his fortunes into actuality, subsequent to his visual state of mind and his external state of endurance.  The rewards of abundant graces from a higher realm enchanted his life with the magic that he had become.  From there, this magic continued to grow and multiply to satisfy his gratitude for life and to share his good fortune with the universe.

Aileen

I was young and I was innocent

When my daddy broke me in

I was pure and I was sweet

When I was thrown outside to die

No food and no shelter

No person to befriend

I was broken, lost, and lonely

I prayed for this to end

The boys at school would beat me up

Then fuck me in the ass

The other girls hated me

They said I had no class

The teachers they would turn their heads

I had nowhere to go

So then I finally ran away

To find another home

This has been my life

It’s the only thing I know

Struggle, pain, survival

Amid the undertow

Found a pretty lover

In the sunlit lands of Florida

An escape like no other

But I just could not afford it

So I did the only thing I know

We gotta make a living

Hooking fast and hooking slow

Money for the beer and kitchen

I tried to find another job

And leave my normal ways

But they said I was no good

My efforts didn’t pay

So I went back to the road

And found more men to lay

Another Jon, another job

Another place to stay

One day in the Summer heat

Another job came through

He was drunk and wanted meat

I blacked out before I knew

Clocked my head and beat me up

Raped me in the ass

This job was not even worth

A single piece of cash

So I came back to conciousness

And found his “manly” gun

Figured that I’d pay him back

For all that painful “fun”

Shot the fucker in the head

And watched him slowly bleed

To hear his painful screams of death

Provided me release

Now I finally knew

That I was not alone

Now that I could see

Pain has many homes

So I left with my new car

Survival of the fittest

I know that I’m still good as gold

God shall be my witness

With this new promotion

From a hooker to a killer

I found more ease and comfort

True justice for the thriller

Removing all the scum

From this overpopulated rock

Manifesting freedom

By removing all the cocks

Aim and shoot to kill

You trained me very well

A killer is not born

They are crafted by your hell

I am no longer your little target

Not your victim or play toy

I am as you designed me

And I will now destroy

Knife party with your dick

I’m the raddest chick

The cops ain’t gonna catch me

I’m running ‘way from it

Take the car and cash

I’ll be running in a dash

The day those pigs brought me in

Is when my life had finally crashed

They say that life ain’t fair

I know this all too well

You die so many times

But your last one won’t be hell

They say that life’s a bitch

I’ve lived it every day

I did my very best

With the bed I had to lay

 

(R.I.P. – Aileen)

 

 

 

Free Bird

I set my TV on fire today and watched it burn away. There was nothing good or original on it anyway. My radio kept playing ads so I smashed it with a golf club and the plastic bits from it’s cheaply made exterior grazed across my cheeks. I tossed all of my high tech gadgets and toys into a dumpster, got in my car, and drove away. I parked my car in a remote location and started walking. I kept walking and walking. I walked away from the noise. I walked away from the silence. I walked away from the lonesome void of nothing that was made of everything. I walked to the trees. I walked to the forest. I walked to the river. I walked through the wind. I felt the breeze. My skin devoured the sun. My eyes saw beauty. My mind felt peace. My soul felt freedom. My heart felt love. I was free. Free from entrapment. I found home.

After Ever

It’s not about looks or vanity. It’s about comfort, peace, and sanity. No need to explain of why or how. When change is necessary for internal happiness and peace there will always be a way- Even if you must fight to get there, and furthermore, even if you must suffer for your triumph while disregarding all of the muttering slack along the way. Ignoring the unnecessary creatures that lurk beneath you trying to tear you down from your pursuit of happiness. I can hear the voices echo off the walls begging me to stay and to embrace these scars as battle wounds as a reminder of how far I’ve come. But to grow from my past I must let it go so I can forget about the pain I’ve suffered. I must not let it linger to remind me of where I’ve been. It is my destiny to look forward to a life of peace, love, comfort, happiness and, in a way, normalcy. And that’s what I’m after.