Social Skills (Lesson 1)

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As the world population continues to grow and technology rampantly progresses, society has consequently evolved in synch with the scattered distribution of this evolution.  Social media and other forms of web data have provided a great deal of easily accessible information, contacts, and forms of medium, however, amidst the surplus of intangible resources, much of our societal aspects have been lost in the fog; so-to-speak.

I, myself, and many others have witnessed the decline and abandonment of classic, timeless, and highly effective social skills that genuinely connect people together to build strong social networks, communities, relationships, and families.  Being a person who was fortunate enough to have been taught and acquired these social skills (some by learned instruction and some by sought instruction) I feel it only proper to share my knowledge and resources for anyone to utilize in their own daily lives to help them achieve a true sense of connectedness among others and accomplishment from such connectedness.  To have witnessed so many who do not have nor utilize such skills and see the outcome of their suffering because of it inspires me to offer some valuable insight to strengthen their character and their overall well-being.  The following list is a composition of basic social skills to apply in your daily life; whether it be at your workplace, your local community, among family and friends, or even via social networking.  Here’s the list:

 

Make Eye Contact When Speaking With Someone

~Making eye contact when you are conversing with someone is essential because it shows that person that you are genuinely interested in what he or she has to say.  In this very busy modern world that we live in, we are not all granted with an abundance of excess time. So, it should be known that to really gain someone’s respect, you should make eye contact when speaking to someone.  You don’t necessarily have to stare the whole entire time you speak.  Of course, there may be moments that you may look away to think of what you’re saying.  But a clear visual effort to look at someone’s eyes when they are speaking to you and when you are speaking to them will demonstrate a sense of connectedness and respect and as a result of that, you will likely be setting yourself up for that person to willingly speak to you again.  If you want to be valued as important and worthy among others, you should make eye contact with whom you are associating with so they feel valued and worthy among your presence.  And in the event you do not care to associate with someone, then let your eyes wander- but don’t expect much from that person in the future.  A good first impression goes a long way.

The 3 Charms

The 3 charms are:  “Please”, “Thank You”, and “You’re Welcome”.  I refer to these valuable phrases as charms because they are essential toppings on the sweetest cake you will ever metaphorically taste- when given the chance!  If you are asking someone for a favor or some help, you should always say “please” when asking.  Even if you are a boss or a manager or a teacher or a parent or a spouse- You should always utilize “please”.  No title or level of “power” should bypass your usage of this word because regardless of your social status or position in life it is the nice and respectful thing to do.  Saying, “Hey, John Doe.  Can you please pass the sugar for my tea”, is a good example of how rich your character is.  Ultimately, we don’t care if you are monetarily wealthy or poor because it is one’s character that will not be forgotten.  So I ask everyone to please contribute something good to the table of society and use the word please- please.  From there, we get into “thank you”.  Saying “thank you” provides a confirmation that you actually appreciate what someone has done for or said to you.  Whether it be a favor, a task that has been fulfilled, or even a compliment given, you should always say “thank you” to express your gratitude for another person’s efforts.  For instance- if your friend compliments your new hairstyle and expresses that he or she really thinks it’s a good look on you, you should say “thank you” even if you already know that your hair looks nice.  Saying “I know” or saying nothing at all is a clear sign of taking someone’s generous compliment for granted and clearly shows that you do not value that person’s opinion. Good luck hearing nice things about yourself again with such behavior and social irresponsibility.  In a world where so many hurt and rude people will easily tear each other down because of their own self-projected critical insecurities, it’s nice to accept and appreciate words of kindness and keep that fire alive.  Take a moment to show someone that you appreciate their kindness and say “thank you”.  When someone holds the door open for you, say “thank you”.  Please just say “thank you”.  You’ll be doing yourself and the world around you a favor.  Furthermore, after someone says “thank you”, you should reply by saying “you’re welcome”, which concludes that you are on the same page- present and aware of your company.

The Golden Rule / Karma / The 3-Fold Law 

Call it what you want, but in any social structure, it is known that you should treat others how you would hope to be treated.  If you completely neglect someone’s cause for life or if you take advantage of them for your own selfish gain even if that means hurting that person, it will catch up to you in other ways.  If you don’t treat people with respect you will push them away and reduce the connectedness of society.  Always keep your conscience aware and don’t take advantage of people in malicious or spiteful ways.  Evaluate potential jealousy or malicious intent and find the root of any internal problems you have and fix them.  Heal yourself and be good to others and life will be very good to you!  Self-evaluation and self-care are a great start to character building.  If you can’t love and respect yourself, how are you going to love and respect anyone else?  And if you can’t love and respect others, who is going to love and respect you?  Life doesn’t have to be that lonely.

Acts Of Kindness

When you have extra love or time or things to give that you do not need, pass them on to someone who could use it more than you.  Whether it’s your time, your company, your friendship or advice or a listening ear or even something of value that you have no use for and is collecting dust on some shelf that you have, pay it forward dear.  In a world of shared resources, being an overindulgent hoarder is never a good thing.  Share your love and love will be shared with you.

With practice and usage of these social skills, your life will become better.  Thank you for reading and good luck on your new adventures- you deserve it!

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