A Product Of Love (Part 1)

In my past life, my name was Bubba-JoJo.  I was far from myself; the self that I was destined to become.  The creature that I have unknowingly been evolving into through a series of events, situations, occurrences, and circumstances in a unique juxtaposition to create the mold in which my future self would be.  There was a seed that needed to be planted to start the process.  This seed was a gift.  This seed contained special magic from a higher source of energy that surpassed any mortal existence of life as we knew it.  It was pure yet impure.  It was clean yet filthy.  It was perfect yet flawed.  It was above and it fell below to reach its way inside of me and grow.  The seed wasn’t merely a seed but more of a test.  This seed was the first occurrence to create a major shift in my perspective of life.  Since born a baby, I naturally possessed this intuitive feeling that I was meant to be a product of love.  It was true because I felt that way within the spiritual realm of my heart.  I am a product of love.

From cold silence of abandonment at a young age, my emotional body was abruptly detached from the warm compassion of a hug.  Perhaps my mother didn’t want to hold me.  So I found cigarettes and junk food.  It was delightful to feel something warm and heavy inside of me.  This was quite the fix.  In fact, on a regular basis, I was fixing to fix me some fixings; and so I did!  It was tangible and edible and consumable.  Perhaps it was my way of making up for the void of what my paternal entities had failed to provide- emotionally and morally.  But it could have been worse; it’s not like my daddy was fucking me with a rusty pipe.

Years down the road I caved into a hole and couldn’t seem to dig myself out.  The burdens of my large thighs were so heavy with layers of fat that I would struggle to climb.  So instead of climbing I rolled upwardly in a vertical motion defying the trying forces of gravity.  But I won (as usual).  There was a willingness to my way and nothing would ever block my path because I would either walk around this petite attempt of a blockage or simply roll over it and crush it.  I know what it’s like to be crushed too, believe me; life’s not fair (boo-frickity-hoo).  So after the orchestra queued the violin music and I got my fix of pizza and ice cream burgers, I finally surfaced back to land and was no longer burdened by the darkness of this steep-ass hole.

Finally, after a million years, I found my first victim.  He was fucked up and a total dick but he had this very superficial bullshit quality to him that I really enjoyed.  In a way we were destined to be mutually victimized by each other’s company but in a parallel universe we’re all sort of fucked up in some way.  Perhaps some would call this “karma” too.  Life occurrences build character.  I didn’t really think about that until after the fact but I was excited so I let him fuck me whenever he couldn’t find a way to cheat on me while he took me for everything I had.  As above, so below… or so I’ve heard.  It felt like home.  I fell in love with his filthy personality because, as I’ve previously mentioned, I am a product of love.  Or at least that is what I was born into. Every child that is born is a product of love, since they are pure and new (like fresh hand towels).  Approximately one year later, after we almost killed each other, my heart had evolved into something more profound.  This feeling was the root from the seed that had been planted inside of me.  It was his seed and it grew into a plant.  The roots took me farther from home and it made me realize that my soul wanted to change.  My soul wanted more than what it had been exposed to.  It wanted something deeper and more loving and compassionate.  It wanted a greater understanding and purpose of life.  So I ran away.  I ran and I ran and I ran and I tripped and I fell and I rolled and I tried to get up and eventually was actually able to get up and catch my breath.  So then I asked some random bystander for a glass of water but she was gracious enough to provide a bottle of purified water with electrolytes.  At that moment I had no clue what that even meant but I drank it.  And I fed my seed.  I fed my plant some water to give it fuel.  To give it time to think about how I am a product of love and what that really means.

 

…To Be Continued…

To My Readers

I send my apologies to my subscribers and readers for my absence.  I have not written as frequently as I used to nor have I had the chance to read as much as I normally would.  I started my own business as a sole proprietor and I also work two other jobs to pay the rent.  I am very focused on my new business and my life and supporting myself since I’m doing this all alone.  Since I haven’t had much free time to write, I’d like to apologize for my absence and let you know why I’ve been gone.  I will continue to share my writings whenever I am given a moment to release my work.  It comes to me when it comes to me- naturally.  I will be posting more new material soon, as life has inspired me to do so throughout my process of self evolution.  Thank you for being present and reading, as always.

With great appreciation and respect,

~Joey

By the way- if youre interested in my new business and want to help a “starving artist” out, check out my website at http://www.NaturalSensationHandmade.com

I launched my own product line of natural and organic skin care, scented soy candles, and more!  My brand is called “Natural Sensation”.  🙂

Build

Climbing up to the crane

I had to leave my cane

Hold the pleasure

Take the pressure

Grudging through this pain

Cutting through the chain

As the moon will wane

They say “the devil’s in the the dollar”

But I don’t feel the same

Dirty deeds I’ve slain

Yet they no longer remain

I’m doing it with love

So there is no shame

Nothing left to lose

But so much to gain

 

Cleanse the filth upon my hands

You’re gonna know my name

And you’ll know it well

For the good of all

Before I found the mountain

In the leaves I crawled

Searching for the truth

A place to share my youth

From the forest to fountain

From the tongue to the tooth

Communicate my glory

Share a piece of my story

I can do for you what you have done for me

A monetary stain

From all the trying strain

We deserve a piece of heaven

And it’s ours to claim

We can do it together

Community makes it better

From the angels

To the birds

Dust it off with a feather

A lighter brush of the skin

Happiness we will win

We can have what we are worth

And we can do it again

This time is ours

And it’s here right now

Pave a pathway to the future

And it’s growing tall

 

Touching

Strategizing specified location

He has claimed sufficient diagnostic from the surface of such a demographic

Within the square radius of my skin graph he finds pores throughout my grid

Introspective eyes unapologetically gazing along every microscopic molecule to examine the pretense of my willingly tangible disposition

He relates inwardly to the fearless vanity of mortally spiritual reflection

Finding comfort in the atmosphere; he reaches out his hand and grazes the field to feel the smooth formation of my limbs

With any notion of potentially practical configuration for such a complex composition, the stem of his brain defragments into bits and particles of space and time throughout the perplexion of dumbfounded mystery that he discovers along his journey of awareness

Consciously he is here with me; touching my legs

Subconsciously he is falling in love

Unconsciously he is finding himself in another dimension

He has risen

Devils Deal

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned

 

All the sweetness and compassion

I somehow lost the time

Through a lonesome intravenous

I have nothing left to find

But somehow I keep searching

For a greater piece of life

As I play among the dead

Slaving for a higher price

 

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned

 

What do I owe you?

But first- What have you done for me?

My dear, I work for the devil

And he keeps my soul busy

What do you seek?

Why do you come to me?

I sold my time to the devil

Compensate my company

If this is where you choose to be

I have a deal he made with me

My time is never really free

And that’s just how it’s sold to be

 

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned

 

Wicked good intentions

I’m here to make my way

From a past of broken dreams

For my bed that I must lay

Rearranging time

Hustle hard within my grind

Making up for all I lost

Contracted oaths I swore and signed

 

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned

 

Focused on the fire

Raging through my veins

Sweating through the process

Swallowing my pains

Scratch the itch of my desires

Living fast to fill my cup

No stops to count my gains

I’ve not yet had enough

Measure up to pleasure

But first I hunt and gather

Reaching for the treasure

Survival from the splatter

 

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned

 

Correlate to compensate

For agreements that I made

Burning through the roses

With short remissions in the shade

Time is what I gave

And this time is due to pass

From the middle man time fades

But one day I’ll have my laugh

My moment in the Sun

A peak of pleasure and of fun

A curse that comes undone

For such a triumph to be won

When all agreements have come done

 

I sold my soul to the devil

And I’m gonna watch it burn

I sold my soul to diablo

For another lesson learned