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How long can you hold onto hope

When you feel at the end of your rope

And everyone thinks that you have it together

But your heart is just bleeding for love

How long will you keep your composure

Before you release for exposure

Stay in the lines while you’re doing it all

Feeding the blind with the crack of your smile behind the bricks of your wall

And you secretly want to jump

And you secretly want to run

Far away from this nothing yet you have so much to lose and you feel stuck while you’re living the blues

How many reptiles must you meet to greet

Kissing all the frogs before you retreat

Are you sad that you might die alone

Are you sad that you’re doing your best

Do you feel like you’re never enough

But then find that they just weren’t enough

Do you pray for someone to step up

And share the love of your cup

Are you sad that you do this for hope

Are you misunderstood because you have wants

Because you have needs

Because you are human

Aren’t you glad to be among savages

You must be so happy to do this everyday

With your looks and your car and your jobs and your home

And everything that you’ve earned and the places you go

The things you’ve achieved and the reasons you’ve grown

Aren’t you thrilled to do this alone

The extra miles you give

With the life that you live

As your time’s running out

And you silently shout

You’re just so happy to know

But does it even show that you’re sad because you might die alone

 

 

Scallywag

Her crotch was soothing, like Indonesian goat milk.

The smell of her upper lip resembled the pungent aroma of well-aged limburger; it tantalized my desperate nostrils.

Her bosom was disproportionately aggressive as the twins wrestled amongst each other in a sweaty feud of “which one shall conquer?”.

Her middle toe extended beyond its partners, presenting the impression of a hairy aggressive squirrel that naturally intended to offend you.

The crust upon her weenus diligently hunted and gathered all forms of dryness to attack its closest victim.

She looked into my eyes with her ghastly stare and I knew from that moment that she had me at “hello”.

I faltered.

That Girl

That girl with the red lips on

Stiletto pumps and a Louis Vuitton

She’s always ready – no need to rehearse

She’s got the universe living in her purse

Loose curls dangle for impressive thrill

Fashion fitted dress that she wears to kill

Walking to her Beemer with her smartphone on

This classy broad has really got it going on

Left the meeting – she’s had enough

Her years in beauty school never paid enough

She needs a break so she’s heading out

With her pretty wicked clan as they’re rolling out

To the bars and to every club

Seeking the potential of a filler for love

Downing shots like she cant get enough

It’s a quarter to last call and she’s feeling rough

She’s got it all – or that’s what they say

Another stranger with a drink and he’s heading her way

He took her home – but just for tonight

Somewhere beneath her darkness she was seeing light

Next day she woke up and then she left

Another day to cover up the mess inside her dress

Pretty girl – give yourself a break

You don’t gotta masquerade all those little mistakes

Young lady – you’ll be more than fine someday

When you look back and see that girl was just taken away

 

 

 

Evolutionary Passageway

It didn’t last.  But it was not failure.  It was success.

That close bond.  That friendship.  That relationship.  That lover.  That connection you had.  Those moments you shared.  Those lessons you learned.  The maturing you’ve done. The growth you’ve accomplished.  Though you may have grown apart.  Though you may have gone separate ways.  Though you may have lost touch.  Though you may have broken up.  Though they may have passed.  This was not a failure.  This was an experience that changed you.  Because of this, you’ve evolved into a new awakening that constitutes as success.  You lived.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Congratulate yourself and enjoy what is now.

The job.  The career.  The workforce.  The team.  The colleagues.  The staff.  The group.  The experience you had.  The things you learned.  The money you made.  The contracts you signed.  The services you provided.  The products you sold.  The networks you’ve branched out toward.  The promotions you’ve earned.  The bonus check.  The times in the office and the times in the store.  The meetings.  The stock-taking.  The accomplishments.  Though they may no longer be.  Though these may no longer pay.  Though you may no longer associate.  Though this may no longer propel.  You did it.  This was not a failure.  This was an experience that changed you and helped you grow.  Pat yourself on the back for learning so much.  Congratulate yourself for the connections you made, for the products you sold, for the services you provided, and for the bonds that you created.  Though this did not last, it made you evolve into who you are today.  Congratulate yourself and enjoy what is now.

The home.  The apartment.  The roommates.  The solitude.  The atmosphere.  The environment.  The scenery.  The remodeling.  The rent.  The mortgage.  The lawn work.  The bills.  The repairs.  The design.  The furniture.  The food.  The moments in your living room and the dreams from your bedroom.  The cleansing in your bathroom and the master (or disaster) chef moments in your kitchen.  Though this may no longer be your home.  Though this may no longer be your space.  Though this may no longer be your scenery, your environment, your circumstance, your living quarters – it was your sanctuary.  It was your core.  It was your foundation.  It was your safe haven.  It was your base.  It was your security.  Wherever you are going.  Wherever you may end up.  You lived.  You survived.  And this gave you experience.  It gave you shelter.  It protected your life.  And you made it home.  Though this may no longer be, do not fret.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.  Congratulate yourself and enjoy what is now.

Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

 

 

Happiness Is…

Happiness is…

Feeling beautiful, confident, and appreciated.

Achieving your goals and feeling accomplished.

Long walks, time for tea, deep conversations, soul connections, relatability, understanding, intimacy.

Good sex, thoughtful gifts, affection, lasting bonds, good memories.

New experiences, new adventures, travelling.

Meditation.

Sunshine.

Nature.

Moonlight.

Warm weather.

Thunderstorms.

When a friends texts or calls just to say “I miss you” or “I care”.

When someone who loves you tells you how much you mean to them.

Kindness.

Compassion.

And above all…

Love.

 

That’s what happiness is to me.

Things To Never Do

Things To Never Do If You Actually Want To Be Taken Seriously In Life

  1.  Hangout at the club like it’s a hobby
  2.  Take drugs
  3.  Engage in 3-somes
  4.  Make an ass out of yourself on YouTube
  5.  Date losers
  6.  Take a shit job that you are overqualified for and that is below your standards because you have a low self-esteem
  7.  Believe everything you hear
  8.  Sell yourself short
  9.  Fuck a virgin
  10.  Care about people that don’t give a fuck about you
  11.  Neglect the people that have tried to care about you
  12.  Consume whatever is left of your mind with conspiracy theory because you’ve been through so many traumatic experiences.
  13.  Get in trouble with the law
  14.  Say something mean to someone you hardly know because you like that person and you are an insecure moron who doesn’t know how to handle it so you just start rambling.
  15.  Dwell on your past to the point where it makes you feel like shit.
  16.  Worry about your future to the point where it makes you feel like shit.

How do I know?  Heh- don’t worry about it.  You’re welcome.

Crickets

You make me feel so ugly

When you can’t look at me

You make me feel unwanted

When I’m not your company

You make me feel unqualified

When I didn’t get the gig

You make me feel unimportant

When my presence is not big

You make me feel alone

Even when I’m with you

I wish I had a new life

29 and lost in “paradise”

What the fuck.